I’m just not sure why you thought it was OK that he started your dating her friend when she was 16 then. I guess it’s because he was married this time?

I hope he gets help, because it’s pretty clear he needs it, but I think you’re being a little cruel to your friend. Your attitude to the situation shows a lack of nuance. Arrest is not the same as being charged or convicted, so he didn’t break any laws. The sexual messages exchanged with people over the age of consent might be considered cheating, but who are you to judge that? You already admitted that you had an affair. If you are drawing a line in the sand and saying that you can’t be friends with someone who will tolerate that kind of behavior, what does that say about your husband?

I anticipate that you will say no, of course it’s different because your friend’s husband is attracted to children! But the people who is exchanging sexual messages with were over the age of consent, so they weren’t children. So, he’s attracted to young women. News flash: all men are.